Twas the night before Christmas and I had been bad,
How was I to know that Santa might get mad?
The house was locked tight every door and every sill,
The fireplace closed shut to ward away the chill.
The night was all dark and I slept peacefully at ease,
Until my window blew open by some strange breeze.
I awoke with a start and went to close the panes tight,
Imagine my surprise as to what caught my sight.
From on high came a jingle and the crack of a whip,
I glanced up for a moment and nearly bit my lip.
Aloft rode jolly St. Nick on his reindeer drawn sled,
And below clung a creature with eyes that burned red.
The elf landed on my roof but stirred not from his seat,
Instead he drew his pipe and stomped with his feet.
“Krampus, oh Krampus, go forth you little blight,
And remind this young fellow to do what is right!”
Amazed I watched by the light of the moon on the lawn,
As the fiend crawled away with fangs that were drawn.
Like a shadow of shadows he edged to the smokestack,
And head first stole down the shaft, ready for the attack.
My first instinct was to hide and bar the door shut,
But I had to do something though I knew not what.
Between my door and the wall leaned my old baseball bat,
And thus an idea shaped to deal with this sneaky rat.
Quick as a flash, I took up my weapon of war,
And, clothed in my blue silk robe, I made for the door.
I flew down the stairs and alit upon the inglenook,
Waiting and watching for the beast to take the hook.
A moment passed with shaking knees and head that spun,
Yet neither claw nor soot fell from the hearth, not a one.
Then I saw it, charcoal footprints of the strangest sort,
Dread filled my soul then behind me came a snort.
I whirled about, brandishing my bat in the air,
Instead I was knocked off my feet, caught in the snare.
And then the thing pounced with animal ferocity,
Though I fought back with all my might and audacity.
As we grappled and clashed upon the fireplace rise,
I could not help but see those glowing ember eyes.
He was covered in oily black hair from head to toe,
And with large curving horns he delivered a blow.
I swayed where I stood but returned again to the brawl,
Lashing out like a madman I threw him at the wall.
The creature’s strength was that of three full grown men,
But I held my own as we sparred throughout the den.
Battered and bruised I strove to my very last breathe,
And fell to the floor awaiting my coming death.
For a moment I lay then opened my eyes to see,
A tattered and beat demon sprawled beside me!
“Good show my young friend, we’ve come to a stalemate,
I’ve never been beaten until this very date.
So I’ll give you a warning, one you should heed,
If you are naughty again the Krampus will succeed!”
Like a smoldering flame, he then vanished without a trace,
And I vowed that next year I’ll bring some aerosol mace!
To all you bad children, I have but one thing to say,
Beware the Christmas Krampus on this festive holiday!
- T. A. Nicholas